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I still can't believe my new life since getting the sleeve. I still have moments of insecurity, but my life has improved drastically. I used to struggle so mightily to try and stay below 190 pounds, which seemed to be my set point. Only with prescribed medication and excessive (unsustainable) workouts of 2+ hours and dieting (1100 calories a day) was I able to get down to 170 pounds, which is still overweight by any chart.
I still can't get over how great this is, and I am so thankful that I didn't let fear prevent me from doing this. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I struggled with crippling insecurity, and as a result I allowed people to mistreat me because I didn't think I deserved any better. I was depressed, and my life was not going the way I wanted it to go. I still feel the sting of every hurtful comment, behind my back or to my face, about my weight or size. The way a man's face fell when I went to meet him for the first time as a result of online dating.
I used to dream of being able to wear whatever I want without worrying about how flattering it is, of being a single-digit size, of having confidence, of having thighs that don't rub until they chafe when I wear anything but pants, of being able to date with confidence that I won't be disregarded for being "fat", of being able to eat out at a restaurant without feeling like people are staring and judging my food choices, of liking how I look in pictures, of wearing a two-piece bathing suit (heck, a bathing suit at all!) and actually feeling good in it. I used to dream all of these things, and now they are a reality!
Now I wear whatever I want, and I buy it wherever I want to shop. I don't feel worried about people judging me anymore. I went from struggling every day to make it to a size 12 to now being a comfortable size 6 (I had gotten down to a 4 and bounced back up to a 6). I go to the pool with some self-consciousness, but nothing compared to how I used to feel. I am confident, and happy. As a result, people treat me differently. Before I was invisible... just a fat wallflower. Now I let my light shine, and people really respond. I feel good, and I would have paid anything for this surgery. I am so thankful that it was a price I could afford. If I were better off I would like to find a way to help fund this amazing surgery for people who aren't fortunate enough to have the $5000 to do it. I was only able to afford it because I came into some unexpected money, and I can't think of a better way to have spent that sum. I wish everyone who wanted this surgery was able to get it. It totally changed my life. I feel free now. I wish I could hug Dr. Almanza for this incredible gift he has given me- the gift of health, confidence, and happiness. This surgery is a miracle.